Things you'll never get in Singapore

After living in Singapore for 2 years, I realized that there are a few things that you will never get in Singapore no matter how hard you try:

1. You'll never get to see a live chicken. City life must be very dentrimental to chicken cuz the only chickens I see here are dead ones.
   
2. You'll never get lost. Go ahead, try to get lost by walking around aimlessly in Singapore. Chances are that you'll reach somewhere familiar or see a signboard indicating where you are. This city is just too small.
   
3. You'll never get a bad treatment if you are a Mat Salleh. Blondes seem to be treated like gods around here. Singaporeans adore them the way sunflowers adore the sun.
   
4. You'll never get to do mountain climbing. When they say that Singapore has no natural resources, they mean it. No mountain, no jungle. The best alternative is to conquer a hill or better still, climb the stairs of the HDB flat.
5. You'll never get a car plate no "SEX XXXX". Sigh, the Singaporean government wouldn't allow this particular registration for cars. If allowed, car sales would have sky rocketed during that period and maybe then, the government's campaign encouraging baby making would have better response. ~Hoey lit~