A Furball of Terrorism

My 3-month old son came to an air-conditioned room on 10 Feb 2010. The adoption process was completed on 28 Mar 2010 and he joined us (me and Sayang) as Rusty Koay. At first, he was this this saintly quiet puppy that wouldn't even move a feet beyond his nose.

2 months later, he became a furball of craziness that would burst into sudden dashes in the house, falling flat on his stomach and looking innocently at me. His sudden changes in behaviour from energetic to complete docileness is quite unnerving in the beginning. But being the dominant gender, Rusty showed boundless energy, love for tearing things apart, anything animated (which made me doubt getting another puppy).


Rusty loves terrorising his parents, a trait that both sets of grandparents noticed. Without the mommy and daddy, Rusty would be a lovely good boy, adored by all. Sometimes, I wonder if there is an Oscar awards for dogs, Rusty will be nominated Best Male Performance.

Besides delivering Oscar quality acting at home, Rusty is also known as Poo-Boy and Pee-Boy for the endless amount of excrement he produces. Favourite pooping ground is always the newspapers but if you leave your favourite magazine on the floor...then beware.

Paradise Worship

Moving,
Powerful,
Meaningful,
Moving,
Full of Love For God

Those were the feelings in me when I attended last Sunday's service when the Paradise Community Church's Worship Team took the worship session. I haven't heard a team like that for a very long time and it was amazing to know how God can bless people with gifts to touch hearts.

Stamps, For Real?

Many would describe me as an outgoing and extroverted person with a typical "bimbo" preference for hobbies such as shopping and movies. But to the surprise of many, I collect stamps. A hobby which started out unintentionally and purely from a need to find a hobby to present to the teacher as part of my primary school assignment.

Usually, hobbies don't last for long if it had started out without interest but during the initial years, I was racing with my friends to see who can collect more stamps. Naturally, I listed the help of my relatives to add to my dwindling collection. Grandpa decided to give me his stamps seeing that he had a few books and cousin Andy didn't know how to appreciate it then. I took the stamps and transferred those into a much newer and nicer album. Uncle Charlie gave me a small pile from his flying experience while Auntie Christine gave me her pen pal's stamps.

Yesterday, when I open my stamp collection because Cynthia gave me some, I was surprised to find that I have stamps which are older than me. Then, it struck me - I have stamps which are considered quite priceless in my collection. Not 1 or 2 old stamps but majority of it are very old.

Inspired by the value of the stamps, I am now resuming my collection by seeking help from Hoey Lit and Hoey Sheen to gather stamps from their international friends and travels. This would be my give to our Loo family in the future...a gift of history.

Election Fever

It's POLLING day and everyone is up early to vote for their fav candidate. I came back to JB to vote and being my first election, I was a little excited. Good thing someone sent me a "Dummie's Guide To Voting" earlier which portrayed a picture-by-picture step to voting. A good thing because I was taken aback by the formality of the voting process. Since my area is considered a new polling district, not many showed up to vote and as such, I was given undivided attention from the election workers. Quite saddening to know that I didn't have many choices and between the 2 parties, there wasn't much consideration required to choose.

Papa's constituency is in Tebrau and it was much nicer there cause there were so many people waiting to vote. Even the aunties and older folks were discussing their choice openly. Quite fun to see their discussion. Some were even asking whom to vote at this point of time. Wow...I thought the decision should have been made earlier for a better future and not at that point of time as a whimsical choice based on popularity (Malaysian aunties...an amazing breed).

Christmas 2007

Woke up today morning by mum and this Christmas is far the weirdest I have had. Spent a whole morning vacumning the inside of the car with Mum's new power vacumn cleaner. Didn't realise that the 11 year old Satria's inside is SO DIRTY! Had to change the vacumn cleaner's water twice and each time, it looks murky foamy brown water. Bro was the expert on using this new vacumn cleaner. Even the piano was not spared of the cleaning process. It received a new coat of polish (bright and beautiful now).

Then, Ah-Choo and her family came to make "tang yuen" (sweet balls) which took forever to make because her 2 children were more of a hassle rather than helping. I think good intentions in this case ended up in more work fore everyone. At the end, the "tang yuen" which took half a day to roll and cook, finished in less than 10 minutes.

Dad took to painting the scratch marks on the Satria (courtesy of Hoey Sheen as a new driver). Didn't realise the car had that many scratches. But now, the car looks as good as new through the workmanship of brushpainting cannot be compared to those of airbrushing.

It's 4.10pm now so I wonder what will happen through the day. Sheen is still at Pastor's house, cleaning the place after the Christmas Party for the youth last night.

Indecent Exposure

Yesternight, after having the instant noodle which I was craving for since Penang and while I was watching MTV, I heard thudding sounds from my backyard. Feeling lazy, I decided to ignore the sounds but it became more persistent. Finally, I turn my head to the left to see what was the source of the sound. My heart froze.

I saw a man throwing stones at my backyard window to get my attention. That wasn't the scary part but immediately, I recognised the familiarity in that man's frame and behaviour of throwing stones. This was the man who indecently exposed himself to me approximately 6 months ago at the same location.

Approximately 6 months ago, while I was studying for my LLB Part 2 in the dining hall which had a 3-frame window facing the backyard. With my back to the window, I was engrossed in my studies and suddenly, a stone whizzed past me and landed within a short ruler distance from me. I turned around to see a man throwing stones and calling out, "Mel".

Thinking that he was Mel's friend, I went to the backyard to open the wooden door to speak to him. His first words were, "Is Mel around?"

I said, "No, Mel is not around" which was a big mistake because I just revealed that I was home alone. He, then started to whank himself in front of me to which I promptly close the back door. My heart thumping and my hands shaking, realising that I am home alone and worried for my safety. I called Koko Mike and Mel to come home immediately which they did. Having searched the neighbourhood, they couldn't find him. No surprise, he probably would have bolted knowing that I made a call to friends.

Yesternight's incident relived that fear again. The fear of knowing that my sister is coming to stay with me and might be home alone freaked me out. Knowing that Mel will be travelling out most of the time and will not be returning early scares me. Realising that this pervert is observing my timing at home scares me. Bad enough I had a brush with a stalker not too long ago and now, I have to deal with a serial pervert which seems to be targetting my home.

So much for a boring life with all these happening within such a short time frame.

Learning To Trust Once More

When the heart has been wounded again and again in the same spot, each hit slices deeper into the same wound, making the wound impossible to heal. The wound bleeds continuously and one day, it bleeds dry and the heart dies.

My heart was wounded this way by someone I loved and after a year, I plucked up the courage to even considering dating once more. The final cut left an invisible scar which acted as a warning against loving. Till now, the scar remains and reminds me of the pain that I went through not too long ago.

Many advices came and left their messages imprinted in me. One of is that to love once more is to trust love again. How does one trust easily especially after the immeasurable hurt? There is no easy way out. Never to trust love is never loving again. And by doing that, I'm taking my own chance to find love.

"Take that step to love. You can't live your life avoiding trust and love. Make that baby step and with each step, you will learn to trust love more and more".

I took that baby step, only to find out that the baby step is not an easy step. There are so many hurdles that I have to face in order to leave my comfort zone of "not-trusting love". Its easy to say that I should trust once more but in reality, it takes a lot of emotional strength to face the fear of hurt. My first step is already wobbly - how shall I proceed with another step?

Family

While reading the article below, tears welled in my eyes to feel the truth of our own selfish ways. A simple truth - we don't show the people we love that we love them. I read this article twice and on both occasions, I cried because I felt so guilty. Guilty of doing the same to people I love. My heart wrenched in pain as I struggled to feel the hurt that my loved ones felt when I scolded them, vented my temper or frustrations on them. Innocent victims of our own selfish need to release our disappointment, frustration, irritation on something or someone. Why the people you love?

A reminder to myself - NEVER TO TREAT MY LOVED ONES POORLY

Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Habitual Claims

Each one of us has a childhood habit which we would resume whenever at home or in need of comfort. These habits don't go away even till one turns middle-aged and I find that quite interesting. Some of the habits I have seen:

Rubbing on cotton puffs that appear on bedsheets
Smelling a stinky old pillow which is covered in drool
Feeling the apex of pillows, collars or anything sharp
Chewing on lips
Cracking of fingers
Digging of nose wax and eating it
Touching the upper cleft of the lip

This is rather common among Malaysians and I wonder why? It is because we adopt this sub-consciously when we see our parents doing the same? I don't remember what are my parents' habits but each one of us children has a habit. Our parents tried to stop us initially from the habits but eventually, gave up trying for it seem harmless to them. In a weird way, having a childhood habit is comforting whenever one is sad, lonely or misses home provided it is not disgusting.

Fighting Sleep

Nodding head, watery eyes, spinning mind, slurring of speech (sounding more like speech impediment), aching neck and slowness of action. These are clear signs that one needs to sleep but young people (I mean teens and young adults) try to fight sleep frequently. I wonder why?

Right now, I am sleepy but I'm struggling to stay awake. Time is precious and to spend so much time sleeping is a waste. That is my only reason. As a result of this reasoning and habitual fighting of sleep, my body has adjusted itself to minimise sleep. Hence, the puffy and dark eye bags which have taken permanent residence under my eyes.

Hoey Theen

Giving Up Its Soul

"NO! Please don't die on me now. You are my lifeline to the world outside. You kept me informed on the latest news and made me a part of the world. Without you I would die, too."

Those were the last words I uttered to a dying friend. I was devastated to know that his time was up as I struggled to accept this sad truth. Nevertheless, he had been a faithful friend for the past 2 years. To think that his time is up, it is indeed a difficult passing for me.

My SAMSUNG mobile has been my life partner in these years. Going through thick and thin with me, he is now aged, physically worn out and handicapped in many ways. After dunking in toilet bowls, dipping in drains and falling from great heights, this faithful friend survived all challenges.

Finally, he has reached a time where he lost his eyesight. No longer able to see text, my friend can now only see lines. All numbers and words are lost. Just like Van Gogh, his eyesight deteriorated to a point it has become an abstract world to me. I can no longer see the world through my friend's eyes and as such, it is time for retirement.

Arranging for my friend's retirement is almost like a death sentence to me. My connection to the world has been cut. No outgoing calls or messages. I cannot even read the incoming messages. Alone since his death, I relunctantly seek a new friend to replace the void I feel. My search revealed many potential friends but my shortlisted friends are only the SAMSUNG touch screen or the SONY ERICSON W300i. Which shall I choose?

I like both but I can only manage 1 friend at a time. Before I choose my next friend, I would rather mourn the death of my old faithful mate. A sad goodbye, my mourning days will last till my sadness disappears and a new friend reappears.

Hoey Theen

Robbed of Innocence

While watching television with her uncle, a child of 5 was asked a peculiar question, "Can I put my hands in your panties?" The child didn't know if that was ok or not and the uncle just shoved his hands in. The little child then felt it was wrong and that she was very dirty. No amount of cleaning could make her feel clean again. The thought haunted her whenever she is alone. She, then only realised it was wrong but why was it wrong?

A young child exposed to molestation is a common societal problem yet many choose to deny the ugly truth because they do not know how to deal with it. The difficult part of acceptance usually deals with the person committing the crime. This is usually a person close to the victim and family. Closeness is associated with acceptance into the family circle and trust in that person. An act of molestation breaches this very trust and the familiarity surrounding this person. How does a parent deal with the change in reality? Many choose denial as the safest route or postponement as a way of buying time before dealing with the situation. Both can be detrimental to a child.

In the case study above, the child took another 14 years before telling her parents the truth to protect her younger siblings. The mother took the news in tears and started to take precautions for the safety of the younger ones. Words of comfort and offers of counselling were given. While the father took the news silently and never spoke a word of it to another.

What does this mean to the child? The act alone left scars of guilt, fear, pain and doubt in the child. Even though, by no means was this the fault of the child, she didn't know this and yet these negative feelings settled in a child as young as 5. The child was forced to learn to deal with these emotions at a tender age and took on the responsibility to protect her siblings at a price. The price of innocence and trust. The child could not trust any man as easily as before and this affected her relationships. The child, now a grown woman, has to face the ghost of her past even till today.

The moral education today should include an area of study and that is the right of a child. Not that I'm condemning the current syllabus but it should include a variety of important common knowledge such as rights to one's childhood and preservation.

Parents should take not be afraid to ask the child occasionally if he/she is uncomfortable with any adult and why. Such a question will open avenues to what the child is experiencing. In conclusion, a traumatic experience such as molestation leaves a life-long scar on any child and it must be addressed and allowed to heal for the victim to resume a normal life.

Hoey Theen

Obsession with Slimness

"I Need To Slim Down"
"I'm Too Fat"
"I Must Lose Weight"

Sounds familiar? I said the same something along that line and I was literally shouted down by loads of people. This obsession with keeping thin is not an uncommon syndrome, believe me. A lot of people worship this mantra and it is forever on their lips however, like most mantras - we are paying only lip-service to it. NATO (No Action, Talk Only).

Some of the interesting dieting programmes:

• Eat only vegetables and no meat. This diet only applies on working days. No dieting on public holidays or weekends.
• Diet before CNY to lose weight and eat as normal during CNY

Dieting programmes only work if one combines it with exercise and discipline to keep off fatty foods (Jojo definitely cannot be on a diet after the porky meal).

My toning mantra:

• Less Carbs
• Less Fats
• Less Sugar
• Jog on Alternate Days
• 200 Crunches on Alternate Days

Does it work? YES! It does. Don't believe me...try it out for 2 months without eating more but cut half of what one normally eats and TRusT me! This thing really works.

Hoey Theen

Finding the Right Fit

2 days ago, I pondered over a dress I was going to wear to a friend's wedding and I skimmed through my current collection. Sadly, nothing met up to my expectations. The dress must not overshine the bride for she is after all, the princess of the night, and the dress must not be so plain that it doesn't complement me. My current collection is rather boring to me because I've seen it so many times. Some are too extravagant to wear to a wedding while some are just too casual. I contemplated whether I should get another dress ie from Topshop or Miss Selfridge. At this point in time, I fancy a pom-pom dress but I have yet to see one in the shops.

I asked myself, "Why all this trouble to dress up?" Knowing myself, I don't dress up for weddings on 1 simple ground but this time, I'm making the exception to dress. Maybe because I haven't been playing dress up for dinners for a long time or because a certain person might be going. Maybe. Unless I see the right dress, I doubt I would get myself another dress. I'll probably save this for a date. Hei! Come to think about this...I have a lovely dress which will be perfect for this wedding night. Something that won't scream yet lovely enough for me to appreciate the dress. Found the right fit.

Finding the right fit triggered my mind on another issue, "Marriage". Many people mistaken temporal passion for love and thinking that they have found the 'right fit', they marry, only to find out that the partner is not the 'right fit' during the marriage. Is love so elusive that people nowadays cannot recognise it? I am tempted to say that emotional immaturity in young marriages increases the chance of finding the wrong fit but this temptation will hold no ground, for many seasoned marriages resulted in divorces, too. I'm more inclined to believe that finding the right fit in a life partner starts with crushes which develop into love as defined by the desire to remain commited to one another.

So, how do one know if they have found the right fit? Not an easy task but one thing is for sure, when you found the right fit - you will know it at once that you would want to be with that person for the rest of your life. Eternal love in a marriage is knowing that you cannot live without that person and both will work to make it last. Who said love was easy? Falling in love is easy, remaining in love is not easy.

So many friends and family made the mistake of associating sex with love. I call this lust and it is definitely not love. Lust induces similar emotions as crushes and infatuations but it is further propelled by hormonal desire. Thus, it is often mistaken as love. Western values of pre-marital sex which was frowned upon by our Eastern families, is now prevalent among the society. As such, increasing the cases of abortions due to unwanted pregnancies. 15 minutes of pleasure and a lifelong commitment ensues. All I can say is that 'Think before You Do".

Hoey Theen

Falling Sick During CNY

After sleeping for what felt like a million years this CNY, my eyebags have finally disappeared and I don't look so trashed. But knowing my schedule, I think this is only temporal till my work begins. Reality has its interludes of rest.

With so much sleep, I thought this was going to be a restful holiday. Instead, I fell sick. Here are my signs and symptoms:

Nose is runny so I made loads of "wantan"
Left ear feels congested and pressurised so I'm a bit deaf there
Left side of the throat feels like a knife has been stuck there permanently
Stomach ache in the middle of the night, depriving me of peaceful sleep
Diarrhea (needless to describe this torture)
Lethargic to the point I sleep more than usual
Sudden loss of appetite
Head feels pressurised and feverish but no fever
Cold when everyone else is feeling hot

All in all, I feel like an invalid and super miserable. I can't even have my orange juice (my usual comfort drink when I'm sick) because its too cooling for my cold. Mum was great in trying to make me feel comfortable. Shall I visit the dr or not? Right now, I can still handle the symptoms but in the middle of the night when I don't have enough sleep and feel miserable, that is when I need medicine most. My fav line, "I'll think about it".

Hoey Theen

The Fascination of Fashion

Women and men alike spends precious dollars on the latest seasons' collection only to wear it for a year or 2 before it is chucked aside in a corner of the wardrobe. The fashionistas would only wear it for 3 months before the season ends or risk social ostracisation for being outdated. Like it or not, many of us would rather put on a piece that would garner praises and admiration from peers than to allow an old garb drap our bodies. Even accessories and make-up should reflect the season's latest colours. To the least, either the accessories, make-up or clothes must be fashionable if one cannot afford a complete set.

Why the desire? What is fashionable? Has society taught us that being fashionable means following what is dictated by a niche group of designers? These designers will hold no power over the society if society doesn't grant it the power in the first place. Amongst these designers, a power of struggle ensues for market domination. Who gets the bigger piece of the pie? Who is more popular among the society? Further enforced by the globalisation of mass media, "fashionable" is an optimal condition desired by the society with rewards of admiration from peers and confidence in self.

Not denying that I myself is a victim of wanting to be fashionable, I find myself subjected to the same desire. My vanity has led me to buying loads of clothes and shoes. Some which I have not worn yet. I spent hours watching "World Fashion" to see what is in the latest season.Though a fashion vain-pot, I am not one to throw out outdated clothings. I believe these designers set the pace of what is fashionable but personal style is an element which makes fashion unique.

My favourite styles are those which are simple in cutting which requires the wearer to make the dress stands out. Simple yet incorporating a touch of ruffles, lace, or an outstanding element ie collar, belt or sleeve. A cross between demure and confidence, romance and reality - that is what I deem personal fashion.

Hoey Theen

Infatuation, Crushes and Love

Signs & Symptoms

• Sweaty palms that doesn't dry no matter how many times you wipe it on your skirt.
• Mouth that suddenly becomes dry and no amount of saliva can seem to make it normal once more.
• Heart pumps so fast and hard that you wonder if anyone can hear it. In fact, it sounds louder than the music in the car.
• Sudden shyness which makes you do stupid things.
• Time stops and passes so quickly. Don't know how this happens but it does.
• Heart brims with happiness every time that person emails, sms or calls.
• Constant desire to be in that person's presence.
• Blushes whenever that person is being discussed or mentioned by friends or family.

Definitions

Infatuation : Foolish or all-absorbing attraction
Crushes: Intense short-lived infatuation
Love: Best described in the 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

"Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Love never fails."

Case Study: A girl likes a guy and experiences the above signs and symptoms

Which of the 3 conditions is the girl experiencing?
Can it be that the beginning is always an infatuation or a crush which can develop into love if the other party reciprocate?
How does one differentiates real love from a rebounded crush?
Love is beyond mere feelings, it is a condition which demands the whole self to be "in love" and not just the heart.

Hoey Theen

It is OK to be single

Is it such an amazement that I do not have a BF at the age of 27? That seems to be everyone's question when I visited my relatives this CNY. I see the look of wonder on their faces each time I answer "no" and it makes me question myself, "Am I normal?". I think I am normal considering that I am quite contented to be single at this point of time. The perks are definitely interesting now but no...people still highlight that its not normal. Somehow, society has defined normal as having a BF in your mid-20s and those who do not are given looks that say "poor thing".

Even dad and mum get worried at times. Mum resorted to telling me that I shouldn't be so picky while dad told me to go for social outings more often to meet new people. Friends are setting me up with their single friends. What is this? Am I such a SAD (Single, Alone and Desperate) case?

Are my expectations for a dream guy too difficult to achieve? Some said yes while others wish me luck because they never saw one like that. My sis asked me to list my criteria in a man and once I started rattling away, she stopped me at mid-point and said, "I think you are asking for too much. I would also want a man like that". I'm beginning to think that I'm joining the ranks of spinsterhood.

On the other hand, some friends remain so optimistic that I would find my Mr Right in time to come. Maybe they are right...that time will come or has it arrived(*wink*)?

Hoey Theen

Weird Remarks During CNY

Of Boyfriends and Girlfriend

Auntie: How old are you?
HT: 27
Auntie: When are you getting married?
HT: I don't even have a BF, how to get married?
Auntie: Is your bro dating?
HT: No
Auntie: Are your sisters dating?
HT: No
Auntie: Why isn't anyone dating in the family?
HT: I don't know?

Dad had been visiting Mum's 5th sis for the past 28 years and that sis asked:

Auntie: What is your name?
Dad (in surprise): Tony

Recognising Relatives

Dad: We are visiting 2nd Aunt
Children: Who?
Dad: My 2nd Aunt, your grandma's sister
Children: Who?
Dad: The one who stays in Tmn XXX
Children: Who?
Dad: The one who stays in front of the playground
Children: Oh....yeah....that one

Dad: We are visiting "A Bak Chik"
Children: Who?
Dad: One of your relatives on grandma's side. We always visit them. Remember, the boys are about your age.
Children: Who?
Dad: The one who always serve us mee siam with mushrooms and longans
Children: Oh....that one.

Dad: Next stop is Uncle Cheah's place
Children: Who?
Dad: He was my landlord for many years when I was a bachelor. We visited his house last year.
Children: Who?
Dad: The one who always makes us 'Top Hats (ala Pai Tees)'
Children: Oh...that one.

Hoey Theen