Robbed of Innocence

While watching television with her uncle, a child of 5 was asked a peculiar question, "Can I put my hands in your panties?" The child didn't know if that was ok or not and the uncle just shoved his hands in. The little child then felt it was wrong and that she was very dirty. No amount of cleaning could make her feel clean again. The thought haunted her whenever she is alone. She, then only realised it was wrong but why was it wrong?

A young child exposed to molestation is a common societal problem yet many choose to deny the ugly truth because they do not know how to deal with it. The difficult part of acceptance usually deals with the person committing the crime. This is usually a person close to the victim and family. Closeness is associated with acceptance into the family circle and trust in that person. An act of molestation breaches this very trust and the familiarity surrounding this person. How does a parent deal with the change in reality? Many choose denial as the safest route or postponement as a way of buying time before dealing with the situation. Both can be detrimental to a child.

In the case study above, the child took another 14 years before telling her parents the truth to protect her younger siblings. The mother took the news in tears and started to take precautions for the safety of the younger ones. Words of comfort and offers of counselling were given. While the father took the news silently and never spoke a word of it to another.

What does this mean to the child? The act alone left scars of guilt, fear, pain and doubt in the child. Even though, by no means was this the fault of the child, she didn't know this and yet these negative feelings settled in a child as young as 5. The child was forced to learn to deal with these emotions at a tender age and took on the responsibility to protect her siblings at a price. The price of innocence and trust. The child could not trust any man as easily as before and this affected her relationships. The child, now a grown woman, has to face the ghost of her past even till today.

The moral education today should include an area of study and that is the right of a child. Not that I'm condemning the current syllabus but it should include a variety of important common knowledge such as rights to one's childhood and preservation.

Parents should take not be afraid to ask the child occasionally if he/she is uncomfortable with any adult and why. Such a question will open avenues to what the child is experiencing. In conclusion, a traumatic experience such as molestation leaves a life-long scar on any child and it must be addressed and allowed to heal for the victim to resume a normal life.

Hoey Theen